Parenting and Conflict

While conflict between husband and wife is inevitable, always, and I say again; always keep your arguments away from your children. And if you're having repeated marital problems, then I'd recommend that you seek counseling from your religious leaders like your church pastors and also sign up for the Marriage Course - that has helped so many find the bliss in their marriage.

So before you end up tearing each other in front of the poor children, do set rules to confine arguments to a specific location within your house. Fighting in front of the children is arguably very damaging to their sense of security and happiness.

Another thing is to never negate your spouse in front of your children. You may feel that you have just right a wrong that your spouse did, or you may have been feeling defeated lately and want to elevate yourself by putting your spouse down. Instead, this inevitably dims your own credibility and authority. Children naturally see their parents as one. And when one negates the other openly, the authority will appear like it's tripping over its own foot. Children will then lose respect for one or both parents or inadvertently play the divide and conquer game – causing more and more rift between the parents. Always disagree in private and come across as one voice in front of the children.

Also, please never negate your spouse behind their backs. If mommy says no, you may be tempted to play the hero or saviour. While this brings an irresistible smile to their tiny little faces, it will wreak havoc in your marriage, and give them a chance to play the divide and rule game on you and your spouse.