Parenting and Pressure

Today, the task of parenting faces a very different landscape almost altogether. We must not ignore this fact. Our lifestyles are very different from that of our parent's and our children are far more exposed to an army of influences. Parents are busier than ever; being double-income and still squeezing time in to ferry their children through the maze of urbania to get the little ones to tuition, Chinese lessons, ballet, and the list goes on. Parents are indeed more conscious of and concerned with the pervasive competition that academia presents. It's in your face and almost impossible to ignore.

For mom's, if it's not the PTA (parents teacher's association) gatherings, then it's in the chit chats with the ladies where you find out that So and So's 7 year old finished reading all three volumes of the Lord of the Rings in just two weeks. Another mother complains to you that her son only got 7A's because the latest X-box got the better of him. And within the same gathering, you hear that So and So's husband, since his promotion last year, has bought her a new car and are taking the entire family to London for the coming holidays.

Just the afternoon before, the husband went enthusiastically to an "old-boys" gathering only to leave completely deflated. Apparently, business cards were exchanged during the catch up session and it became clear as the evening ensued that apart from him and the other fellow, most of them were holding senior positions in reputable companies, commanding no less than RM10k a month in salary.

I used to see this problem from a distance until my daughter's kindergarten graduation came. There were about 24 children in her class and four special awards were to be given at the graduation ceremony. As each award was announced, I waited anxiously for my daughter's name to be mentioned alongside. First, second, and finally the fourth award was presented and my daughter's name was not on that "special list."

Now, if you know me, I one of the most easy going bloke, quite "chin chai" about most things, but this one somehow got under my skin. All of a sudden, I felt really offended that my daughter wasn't on the list. A thousand thoughts must have raced across my mind, and I even remember having some crazy thoughts like, getting rid of the wife because it's all her fault, or opting to give my daughter up for adoption since she didn't make the top list... ok, i know, i know... I'm one of the few demented fools on planet earth... But the truth of the matter is that I was in anguish. It was a blow to my pride and ego.