Parenting vs Career/Business

A few years ago, I bought a book entitled "How to Win at Work and Home - Leading a Balanced Life." I read the first few pages and then placed it in my car and never read it again. As I was going out for lunch with some of my staff one day, one of them saw the book in my car and picked it up to read. Ironically, he read these words, "The first thing about finding balance between work and family is to make sure you're in a job that allows that." I chuckled.

"If you have not found a job that allowed you balanced time at work and family, then read no further and don't expect any breakthroughs," he continued. Strangely, that was in the first chapter, and I was sure I had read up till the 2nd chapter. Somehow it didn't ring a bell. Regardless, what I had read or heard my staff reading was like water off a ducks back. It just didn't click. Or so I thought...

I was working 16-hour days, every single day. I was holding a team together with some major accounts to handle, and work was so overwhelming, we'd start the day at 9.30 a.m. and wouldn't leave till 1 or 2 a.m. I hardly saw my children and if I did, it was for 15 - 30 minutes only, and then I was off to work. And even if I got home early, it would be 10 p.m. already and I would be utterly exhausted.

Fast forward, and almost 2 years later, something hit home and I woke up. I realized that I had been so blinded by my circumstances that I thought work was really all that...that work was life. I was missing the point....big time.

I had preached about living a balanced life for the longest time, but now found myself equally seduced by the carrots of corporate Malaysia. Despite my foolishness, I was fortunate that I had my wife to count on. Looking back, it was just unfair that I let her do all the work of raising our three children. Now, we're a team again, working hand in hand to raise the next generation.

I get heartbroken when parents - especially the ones who are already financially quite comfortable - continue in the pursuit of further riches while dumping their kids at the babysitter's. I have nothing nice to say about this. What bugs me is why these folks have children when they can't personally raise the poor kido? Is having children now more like a status symbol? A nice house, 2 very nice cars, a family vehicle, a big dog, a rich hubby, a trophy wife and adorable kids. We want everything but we don't appreciate them like we should.

My friends, your child is an eternal entity with tremendous potential, not some thing that you can chuck with the care taker or a number on your list of "wants". God has entrusted into your hands a precious life of a human being, tender and in much want of your affection, love and time by default. No wonder the social ills amongst the rich are getting worse by the day.

If your job takes you away often, into late hours or much travel, folks, I'm here to tell you that it ain't worth it. All your hard earned money will result in buying your children's love in the future or bailing your children out when they get into trouble. I've seen it again and again. Your children may be blessed with material wealth, but mentally and emotionally, they will be bankrupted.

Unfortunately, some parents will gleam over these words, and in the next beat, go back to their usual ways and continue with the neglect. And the worst part is that they will almost always live to regret the irreparable damage...